I racked my brain to blow a new candle
Learning English is not my priority. Since I was a kid my atmosphere pushes me to go near the Arabic language.
Thus, my first experience in teaching is to accompany Hafidz (the one who memorizes the Quran) learning the Arabic language and the translation. I fell in love with English for 9 years old because I would like to understand some books that my father gave to me. In the middle of the journey, I was asked to go further. Shaping another skill in language, either France or Japan.
But then, I chose English since I’m more comfortable expressing it. Since then, I was nominated as a permanent English MC for several occasions. I don’t know exactly when finally I live happily with this English language, what attaches to my memories is that I get more forces to learn English when I studied my undergraduate. I have to utilize more English in my daily routine. At this phase, my self-growth is developed.
The first time to be an English teacher in-formal school was 2011. When I have to deal with ex-pat students from various countries. This was the place I immerse how to pronounce those extreme words to my tongue. Luckily, they were very opened to fulfill what I still lack as an English teacher. As time goes by, my understanding is getting complex.
When I speak a foreign language, I believe that the new perspective towards this world is built.
It is exactly proved that once we change our language, we can hit the stage of changing our thoughts.
Therefore, I arise the reliance of being an English teacher is beyond of curriculum formed. I put on the understanding that education needs further direction on the way of thinking. As a result of the complex system of education, I require to continue my study. So, here I am. And fortunately, throughout this decision, I become more objective to picture this complexity and be able to decode what I have believed previously. For instance, of my bizarre thinking, I thought to be an English teacher is only teaching English as a subject. I forget the place of education means to humans. I misplaced how teaching intimate with the art of educating people.
As I reflected on how my curiosity deals with too deep of thinking, I am aware of my own capacity to sort out which one is the primary and to urge to do. Most of the time, I need to take several considerations only to solve a small problem, for example, either eat now or later, finally, I forget to eat. It becomes complicated to deal with a bucket of problems during teaching as daily routines. Moreover, the aspect of every line in the school environment influences how we decide. From these limitations, I admit to being more focused on the purpose of my teaching, identify my goal of learning, and sharpening the sense of being who I am. In fact, reality seems a blur and mixed up.
Since the future lives with uncertainty, I don’t want only to explain what I believe, but I need to embody what it requires. I am busy redefining my own belief that might be it is the only assumption since the beginning. In conclusion, education is not acknowledging something new, but it consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
